Posts tagged GOP
Posts tagged GOP
So the circus is in town. It’s been touring for about six months, and some of the more outlandish acts have dropped out of the tour and headed home. As it stands now, we have 3 acts, one for each ring, and a clown. The ultimate goal of this touring circus? The best act at the end of the tour has a chance to compete for a 4 year contract and the biggest circus in the country along the border of Maryland and Virginia.
In the biggest and most lavish ring, we have the millionaire. He seems to change up whatever his act to fit the town he’s performing in. Before he took his act on tour, he spent his time hiding money from taxes in overseas shelters and firing a good portion of his potential voter base. No one is really quite sure what his act is all about, but a large portion of the audience seems to think he should be there anyway. Currently, he’s the favored act on the tour.
In the center ring we have a young man from the keystone state. He seems very concerned with what the audience members are doing in their bedrooms, especially the gay members. Regardless of orientation, he’s very interested in making sure the only sex happening is attempts at having babies. No one is sure if this is part of his act or if he has some unnatural fixation, but he’s a church-going man so he has a niche audience no matter what he says.
In the last ring, we have a veteran act that used to perform at the the big circus, but got caught up in some personal problems and was asked to take his act and leave town a couple years ago. He has a solid act, though he regularly rotates his beautiful assistant, usually bringing a new one in without letting the current one know she’s being replaced. And he knows he’s not the favored act, so he keeps throwing poo from the animal cages at the millionaire.
The clown keeps hanging around thanks to a core audience that a lot of people think follow the tour. He likes keeping his act small and to the point, but he doesn’t pander to the audience so he’s all but forgotten at this point in the tour.
So there you have it: A millionaire, a church-man, and a veteran. The winner of the tour is anyone’s guess, and the millionaire has been favored for a good portion of the tour, but it’s anyone’s guess at this point. I love the show either way, and I’m stocked up on popcorn for the rest of the show. Also i’ll get around to writing a serious post about this shit show sometime soon
I would like to rescind every good thing I have said about Ron Paul after watching this. However in the same regard, can anyone find a complete clip of this, it’s fairly obvious that this was edited to be slanted toward making him look bad.
How do people like this make it into office? Between her waxing scientific and Rick Perry claiming prayer will fix the economy, it’s time to start writing any politician you can to demand aptitude tests for registering to vote (or IQ tests for candidates). Hopefully votes being cast would be less misguided on both sides of the spectrum.
You can find some more wonderful one line gems from other GOP members over at The Stir
Personally, I’m still a fan of Ron Paul. He doesn’t give a damn about pointless talking points like gay marriage and abortion, and for that Fox News and most other profit based news organizations marginalize him or don’t even give him a mention. Regardless of his policies, he’s more honest and focused on actual problems than Bachman or Perry. Buddy Roemer seems to have the right idea too, but he’s been out of the political field for a while now so he’s got alot of work to do.
If nothing else either of them would make the debates leading up to the election actually interesting rather than embarrassing. We all know how hard hitting questions like “what do you read” can really throw off a candidate.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m voting for our incumbent president unless he actually fucks up, not just gets blame tossed on him once a GOP member wasn’t in the president’s seat. But if the Party of No doesn’t start giving some strength to worthwhile candidates, we’re all screwed.